what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
