He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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