Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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