Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize
