one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
