It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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