On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
