when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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