Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
