I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just saw a hot homeless man
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
