i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She bit a glass in half.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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