Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
