Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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