Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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