careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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