took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
