So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
