You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
