If i could tip my vagina, i would.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
