i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
