Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
