Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
