This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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