I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
