after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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