So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize