You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Shame - the story of my life.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
