she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize