I wish I could punch you in the face.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
