when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
whose parrot is this?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
