Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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