My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
