Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
