I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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