blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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