My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize