Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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