trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
