I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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