I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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