bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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