So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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