kristin has been a bad kristin
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
