She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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