He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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