That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
