Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
and she was petting her beer can
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
