i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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