I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
