i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
