You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
