I hate your face
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
