i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Acid is not a monday night drug
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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