You can't special order awesome
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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