i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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