jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize