Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize