You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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