For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
